I had a dream last night that Tboz was not really dead.
I also had a call from the vet that Tboz' "remains" were ready to be picked up.
So in the dream, Tboz was with me happy and running around AND I had her remains. Everyone just ignored the little detail that this was impossible.
I have had similar dreams starring my brother. He'll be alive and hanging out and everyone ignores the fact that we buried him.
I don't know what these dreams mean. Maybe they are just a way for me to enjoy the life I had with them when on this earth. Maybe they are trying to comfort me when I am most sad and missing them. Maybe its just my random subconscious processing stuff while I sleep.
I always wake up from these dreams a little off. I feel a little off.
I can't bring myself to pick up Tboz' remains. I feel like I am enjoying a bit of denial. I'm not ready to face that place or the hard reality that she is gone. Forever.
Sigh. At least the crying has stopped. But I feel guilty about that too. I really thought that when this happened I would be inconsolable, like forever.