Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Yippee-ki-yay Monster Trucker!

OH HOLY RUN SUCK!  The time has come!  They have released the challenge map for the dash!

Google Maps says its 4.8 miles and will take a walker an hour and 39 minutes.  Of course this is an estimate.  But it is nice to know what I am up against.  I am guessing I will try to do lots of run / walk cycles like Erin taught me.  I need to get one of those watches that Bea told me about that beep telling me when its time to walk.  I need one of these fo sho.  I won't have Erin.  :(

Good news on the challenge front too.  All tabata stuff - which I am totally prepared for and then the gauntlet, which will be fun and is all sorts of crossfitty with tires and a wall and everything.

They tell you the order in which to do the challenges, but they don't care how you run/walk there.  So I think I am going to try and off road it occasionally.  Maybe that will shave some mileage.  Sidewalk Schmidewalk.  Two of the challenge points are on either side of a cemetary.  Perhaps I shouldn't off road that one.  And one of the routes passes "Pie Town", I think I should avoid that one too.  It's not cupcakes, but tempting nonetheless.

I think I might be getting a tiny bit excited.

I've got 2 friends coming to spectate and support and I am so grateful they will be there as my piece of normal.  Plus I have a supportive team - so in Anna's words, it'll be all good.


P.S.  Have you ever seen that Orbit fresh mouth commercial?  Who are you calling cootie queen you lint licker!  I am not a big fan of the profanity, but I sure do enjoy the replacements.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Crossfit Highs

Oh Holy Hannah yesterday was a good day at the ole bullcity crossfit.  I had one of those days that are the best ever at crossfit.  The ones where you leave and you're like, "Holy crap!  I can't believe I (ME!) did that!  I am indeed badass!"

I still feel pretty happy today about it.

The day started out with Handstand practice.  Maybe you don't know this because I think I only wrote about it on the Crossfit blog, but I LOVE HANDSTANDS.  I made it my goal one month to get a handstand and about 3/4 the way through I finally got them!  It was awesome.  And everytime I did one, it made me happy.  I was doing them in the morning before work, just to have a happy day.  And then, I just quit doing them.  I'm not sure why.

So yesterday, it took awhile to get one again, but I finally did.  I got 2 in fact.  And then I got fatigued.  I can always tell I am fatigued, because my wonky shoulder starts acting up and I can no longer maintain a solid frame on my left side.  Oh well.  I'll take 2.  And I'll take that bit of inner peace and happiness that came with that 2.

Then we did the WOD.  Honestly it doesn't really matter what the WOD was - deadlifts and push press somethings.  It was just a means to the end.  The end being the devil...Afterall, today was a Run Suck day.

So Satan, or Erin as she is know to others, is my super awesome running coach.  I love Erin, but I really hate Satan.  Unfortunately, Erin is so badass, that she has been training on a very injured foot and finally realized that she needs to rest (REST ERIN!).  Alas, Satan couldn't coach Run Suck today.

So Satan had me do the Endurance WOD instead.  What?  You didn't know there was such a thing as Crossfit Endurance?  Oh yes, there is.  If there is a hell, they probably do Crossfit Endurance there.  I'm just sayin.


The WOD was run 200m and then rest for 3 times the amount of time it took you to run the 200m.  And then do this 10 times.

This is more Run Suck than I have done before I'm pretty sure.  But Satan assured me that I could do it.

*Side Note: Satan is so Badass - that she did the rowing version of the Endurance WOD on her jacked up foot while I ran it.

In place of Satan, my pal Allison G. ran with me.  She is the best.

First round not so bad.  I thought, "Oh, I can totally do this."  I finished my 200m in like 1:06min.  So we rested for about 3 min.  The next few rounds I finished in like 56-57sec.  The entire class was way ahead of us, but my pal Allison reminded me that that didn't matter.  She reminded me of this ALOT.  Thanks friend.

*Side Note:  NO ONE in my class said or did anything to make me think it mattered at all that I was so behind.  This is just me feeling badly about being behind.  In fact, they were all very supportive.

Round 5 was when I was like, uh oh.  This might not be doable.  But we persevered.  And I was maintaining my speed.

The entire class was done and we were only on round 7.  This is when mean Melinda was creeping into my head and saying you are not good enough.  Oh contraire.  I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

By round 9, coach Alison joined us and pushed me.  Unfortunately, I was at max and her pushing really didn't make me go faster.  My max is super slow, but it is MY max and that's OK.  I was starting to believe this towards these last rounds.

At round 10, several folks in the class ran with us.  It was awesome.  My body was telling my legs to stop, but my head just said keep going.  YOU CAN DO IT.

And you know what?  I DID do it. 

I am kind of all teary.  It was that kind of an accomplishment.

Satan was proud of me.  She wasn't expecting me to get or maintain 200m under a minute.  I didn't think that was good, but she sure thought it was.  She also was proud that I did all 10 rounds.  Maybe Satan isn't so bad after all.

This is what I am hoping the Dash is like next week (HOLY CRAP ITS NEXT WEEK!).  I hope my team is supportive (I know they will be and I of them).  I hope that I am not the slowest one, but if I am that is totally OK because my pace is MY pace.  I think it will be hard, but I will tell myself I CAN DO IT and I will BELIEVE IT.  And I guess most of all, I hope I have fun.  And I want the medal.  Well!  I do!  :)

So friends, these past few weeks have been disappointing in the weight loss arena.  But its times like yesterday, that remind me how far I've come.  I mean I think about almost 300 pound me, and I remember her having a hard time running 200m once.  Almost 200 pound me is doing handstands, doing a WOD, running 400m to warm up for the second WOD and then running 10 rounds of 200m! 

So while I am disappointed with my weight loss plateau, after Crossfit Highs like yesterday I am willing to keep up the fight.  And perhaps, for today, I can be OK with almost 200 pound me because this me is pretty awesome just the way she is.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

MetroDash Fundraising!!

Hi blog friends!

Would you be interested in supporting me in my first race ever? 

The MetroDash supports the Navy Seal Warrior Fund (NSWF).  This fund helps widowed families of SEALs as well as injured SEALs.

I am trying to raise $50 for the NSWF by 20 Aug (I know, I procrastinated).

Check out my fundraising page:

Thanks in advance for your support!

P.S.  I am getting excited and nervous about the Dash.  I know I am slack on posting progress - things haven't been going the best.  I am a tad bit injured (hips).  And I had a carbapalooza this weekend.  Body is rebelling.  Run Suck was at a all time high last week.  Boo.

P.S.S.  How cool would it be to be a Navy Seal?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Run Suck Progress

I skipped my week in review.  Sorry.  Here is a recap:  I trained everyday and ate pretty well with the exception of what I posted.  Online dating sucks and will probably remain private from here on out.  WOW.  Well there it is.

Anywho - today the Run Suck factor was probably a 9.  Erin has me running in run/walk cycles.  Last week we did 4 rounds of 3 minutes running, 2 minutes walking.  This week Erin bumped it up to 4 rounds of 4 minutes running and 2 minutes walking.  HOLY RUN SUCK!  I even had to stop a couple of times.

In my defense, this was following a WOD that smoked my legs.  Have you ever heard of a GHD sit-up?  Neither had I until Crossfit.  Let me tell you, I now understand why there is an H in there.  My hamstrings were screaming.  Holy Hammy!  HA HEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA  I just cracked myself up.

My running partner, Erin, did the same WOD with GHDs and ran with me and she never complained.  I on the other hand, complained alot.  I don't think complaining is OK, but I honestly wasn't feeling so great.  And it was a zillion freakin degrees again.  But with some encouragement, I completed my assignment.  So the Run Suck does seem to get a little better as the rounds go by, but it still sucks.   Freakin running.

Today Erin said sometimes you just have to accept running for what it is.  I think she said be at peace with it (who knows, I was delirious by this point).  Maybe I was seeing the angels and they were telling me to be at peace...It could have been that I was indeed dying.  But I wasn't.  I'm trying to be at peace with it.  Really I am.

More Run Suck coming on Friday.  Yippeee! (fun phrase borrowed from my friend Ashley who occasionally uses it sarcastically as well).

P.S.  I had to hide my scale.  I think I was making myself crazy.  

P.S.S.  I've been wanting to tell my fellow Dash team mates that I am nervous about being the slowest one on the team.  Well I finally did today.  They replied - well gestured - for me not to worry about it.  And then said it was going to be a "blast".  Um.  That is so not how I see it.  Why can't I think it is going to be a blast?  All I can think about is the Run Suck.  Sigh...

Saturday, August 7, 2010


My friend shared this photo with me yesterday, which I find totally relevant to my current predicament...

This is kind of hard to read, but the one I like best is  "The scale will NOT tell you...What a great person you are...How much your friends and family love you...That you can make a stranger melt with your beautiful smile..."

Stupid scale.

Anywho - yesterday I did the WOD which was started with a terrible terrible "warm-up".  The warm-up was 4 rounds of 200m run + 50 single unders.  It was maybe 95 or so and humid.  This was terrible and I was kind of sick afterwards.  Maybe it was the heat.  But I pressed on.  Freakin Ryan.  The WOD was overhead squats and double unders, which I kind of scaled down b/c I was feeling sick.  I am still working on my double unders.  I can do singles, but can't string them together yet.  So this WOD kind of took me awhile.  I did use my fancy new Buddy Lee jumprope.  It really is a good jump rope.  I recommend purchasing one if you are serious about getting double unders.

Now, on to the shakeup.  

I was FAMISHED when I got home.  I had a little snack of turkey and macadamia nuts and when on to get ready to meet up with some friends for dinner.

I decided that I would eat sort of high carb that night to see if it would shake up my metabolism.  We went to Pop's (known for some good pizza).  So I ate bread and olive oil, a piece of bread with yummy crab dip, a salad with goat cheese and pecans and a WHOLE (!!!!) sausage and pepperoni pizza (they are sort of small pizzas, so this is not super crazy).  AND I WAS STILL HUNGRY.  Like, I was not full.  At all.  People.  Come on.  WTF is going on with my body?

So I was thinking this morning when I weighed in, I would see some change.  Nope.  WTF!  Usually carbapalooza's make me gain water weight immediately.  Sigh...

I know I need to read my post from Thursday.  I know I just need to be patient, but its hard when I am actually working very hard to reach my goals and I'm unable to even make a dent in reaching them.  It is frustrating to say the least and there is a tiny seed of concern being planted. 

On another unrelated note (this transition in topics was terrible, I know), I am apparently too picky when it comes to choosing men to be interested in.  My best friend of almost 25 years told me this the other day as I was upset about my current lack of success with the online thing.  She says she has noticed this for as long as she has known me.  That I will pick apart most men so much so that I never allow myself to actually be interested in one.  

Last night, some of my friends confirmed this for me as we perused my online "selections".  A dude emailed me that I immediately dismissed for all sorts of reasons.  After much persuasion, they finally convinced me to email him back (this was comical, as they kept saying oooo he likes "x", so he can talk to so and so (meaning their spouse)  and he will get along with us, because we like doing "z".   And regarding appearances, they said things like, you can change the "Dad" jeans.  I dress so and so all the time (meaning their spouse).  I hate dad jeans, BTW).   

They thought he would be great for me whereas I had only found faults.  Do your friends know better about what is best for you?  I'm not sure, but I gave it a shot.  This was my dating shakeup - did you like how I tied that in?

Anywhooooooo....He emailed me back today BTW and frankly I am paralyzed about what to do next.  He wants my phone number.  GAH!  This is when it starts getting real I guess.   Freakin dating.  What to do what to do...

And finally, another unrelated at Cfit, someone told me I was inspiring.  I was waiting for the typical clarifying statement of "because you've lost so much weight".  But this time, it was just because.  This kind of surprised me.  

I went to the community work out today to support a friend of mine who is interested in joining (DO IT!) and the WOD was scaled way down, so I finished quickly and while not "easy" (Cfit, even scaled, is never really easy) it wasn't a typical WOD, so it was easy relatively speaking.  And this person was impressed.  I seriously didn't know what to say.  I kept thinking - have you not looked around?  I am so on the bottom of the totem pole at our gym.  Well, I guess I keep up for the most part, but still - I am not usually inspiring in the sense of the actual WOD'ing.  For once, I was not known for being a Crossfitter who lost a shit ton of weight, but just as a pretty awesome Crossfitter (in the eyes of a beginner).  Who knew that would ever happen?

I guess we Crossfitters never really stop to think how far we have come.  Mostly because we constantly surround ourselves with other badasses.  

Now, if only I could just transfer some of this ability to inspire over to my dating world...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Impatience is not a virtue...

Um, have you seen my guns lately?
OMG it is so painful to be me sometimes.  I am so so impatient.  If I want something, I want it now.  I'll do the work, but I want to hurry and do the work and then get the something.  And then I get super upset when there are obstacles that I have no control over.

When this happens I like to repeat the ole trusty 12 step serenity prayer to myself:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference
Reinhold Niebuhr

Now I am not a religious person, and tried the 12-step thing and really didn't like it much, but I really really like this prayer.  When there is something that bothers me, I try to break it down and really understand the things I can't change AND BE OK WITH IT.

For example, I am totally pissed that I am working so very hard and I am not losing weight like I expected to.  I know my body, and when I take care of it, it totally responds, quickly.  I've got nothing going on over here.  I mean zero fluctuation.  I usually see fluctuation even in the same day.  I've tried 2 scales.  I'm just hanging out at the same freakin weight.  But meanwhile I am NOT enjoying "cheat meals" or sitting on my ass to maintain this - I AM FREAKIN WORKING AT IT VERY HARD AND AS BEST I CAN!

So I say the serenity prayer and break it down:
God grant me the serenity (please because I am feeling crazy)
to accept the things I cannot change (I cannot make the scale tell a different story)
The courage to change the things I can (I can change the way I respond to this plateau by persevering with good nutrition, exercise and rest and by being honest with myself)
and the wisdom to know the difference (thanks for letting me break it down, I know I just need to keep my chin up and keep on keeping on)

And then the crazy passes.  At least for a bit :)  

Anywho - I'm not really sure what is going on, but I am going to just keep on keepin on.  I do trust in the process and know that I am doing good things for my body.  And I know me getting healthy is not JUST about weight loss, but recall that one of the things I want (see above re: impatience) is a nose ring and that reward is tied to weight loss.  So what the F.  

Sigh.  Oh nose ring.  How I want thee...quietly cute and sparkly but at the same time unexpected and naughty...oh my.  Speaking of naughty, I need a boyfriend.  BLUSH...oh my.

I digress.

BUT, to continue a behavior change, I think you do need some kind of positive reinforcement.  My scale showing me pounds lost is the positive reinforcement I want and I am not getting this (Hi impatience - how's it going).   I have accepted this as something I cannot change, so instead, I am going to focus on some of the positive non-scale victories I've had over the past week or so.  Do you want to know what those are?  Of course you do.  I will share:
There is kind of face there saying HOLY SHIT!

  • I have seen - although this cannot be corroborated at this time - abs.  I know right?  I thought it was just fat, but I can clearly see outlines of at least a one-pack.
  • I have run 800m without stopping.
  • I have run 5 rounds of 3 min on and 2 min off.
  • I did 100 Pullups (assisted) for time and got wicked callous tears (Crossfit badge of honor)
  • I have reached out to friends for support instead of food (which reminds me of a quote I heard today, if the problem is not hunger, the answer is not food...)
  • I have generally eaten things that are good for my body

I am pretty sure if I was still in the habit of eating a pizza with a side of cake, these things would not be possible.  In fact, I know these things would not be possible.  So I win!

I have a tendency to be a bit all or nothing (what?  you aren't surprised you say?)  So with my Dash preparations, I was a little crazy.  Maybe I did or at least thought way to much about it.  I am trying to get the crazy back in check.  Trying to obsess a little less about my holy healthy goals and relax.  

I give you permission to tell me to stop the crazy if this continues to get out of hand.  Speaking of hands, did you see those tears?  Yeah, it hurts.

P.S.  They posted the Dash workout for Boston.  The challenges - totally doable.  The run - doable (thanks to Erin helping me build confidence) but it is 5 miles not the revised 3-4 miles!  Oh the anxiety...wait, I'm supposed to be relaxing...  

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Week in review - July 26

This week was kind of rough.  Not gonna lie.  I have been SUPER tired.  Like fall asleep during the day tired.  I am not sure if it is the elimination of sugar and grains, the addition of running or my body's need for more sleep?  Whatever, I need to fix this pronto.

I've also been doing ALOT of thinking.  Mostly about how I feel with regards to my lifestyle.  I think I am slightly obsessed with my healthy endeavors so much so that it might not be healthy.  More about that for a later post...

Same level of Paleo commitment this week.  Allowed condiments here and there.  Made some pretty good dinners.  I fully intended to try some recipes from my Primal Blueprint Cookbook, but I think I got lazy.  I don't get the chance to start dinner until around 8:30 or 9 and by then, I want quick and easy.  So I defer to old standbys.  I have read through these recipes and they all look pretty easy (and delicious) so I'm not sure why I haven't tried any of them.  I seem to be very averse to using recipes - not sure why.  When I am cooking, I like to just sort of make stuff up.  Maybe I don't like being told what to do...oh my, that could be a whole separate post!

Anywho - I mentioned that I am reading the Primal Blueprint and I really like Sisson's take on a healthy lifestyle.  There are some differences between Primal and Paleo with regards to nutrition.  One difference is that Primal allows for the inclusion of high fat dairy whereas Paleo eschews (stolen awesome word from Sisson) dairy.

So this weekend, I allowed the addition of blue cheese to a steak salad at Ted's Montana Grill (Oh holy hannah, when I decide that a burger is in order, I am totally going back there).  I haven't had cheese in a couple of weeks so I knew that based on my Whole30 experience, adding cheese, even just as sprinkles on a salad could be troubling to the ole' digestive tract (basically, the Whole30 approach is get rid of the crap for 30 days and slowly add back the things you think you can't/won't live without and see how they affect your body).

And the cheese was troubling.  Almost immediately.  Dairy is not my friend I'm afraid.

I think this is a valuable lesson though.  I have learned that cheese, while super tasty and yummy causes inflammation / irritation and in general makes me feel kind of poopy.   So I know that there are nutrients to be gained from dairy and that I may enjoy the taste of dairy, but I will choose whether or not to consume it knowing I'm going to feel poopy afterwards.  It's now an educated choice.

This makes more sense to me than just someone telling me that I shouldn't be eating something because of x.  Through this kind of experimentation, I know what "x" is for me and maybe it is not worth it to get "x" by eating something.  But the "x" and the worth is different for everyone.

The final thought on nutrition, what are your thoughts on eating a whole avocado in one sitting?  I've done that twice now.  Also, I am thoroughly enjoying watermelon which is high on the glycemic index.  Both of these things make me feel anxious.  WTF?  Part of the freedom you feel eating Paleo/Primal is that you are not keeping track of points/blocks/etc, but rather eating nutrient dense foods when you want, in whatever quantities you want when you need it.  I keep thinking that these things are limiting my weight loss efforts - thoughts?  See what I mean - obsessed and unhealthy...Oh this next post will be a doozy...soo many thoughts..

So my schedule this week was 5 days on and 2 days off.
Crossfitted:  4 times
Yoga'd:  1 time
Run:  2 times

I took an extra rest day on Saturday because I felt beat up.  Everything was sore and I was so tired.  I think that was a good call.

I did run with Erin 2 times this week.  See post re: Run Suck for that good time.  Again, I'm grateful that she is taking the time to do this with me.  I find, honestly, this is now less about the Dash and more about me.

I've lost one pound this week which I am a little disappointed with if I'm being honest.  I feel like I am working hard and should be rewarded with massive weight loss.  However, I need to trust the process and know that my body is adjusting to last week's loss and will level out.  

Less than one month away from the Dash.  I think I'll do fine, but am not really looking forward to it anymore.  See comment above re: obsessions...  Oh dear.


Too tired for some planned socializing on Friday.  I even had a cute new dress.  And there was a fraternity convention thing.  My odds would have been pretty good! :)

I got to hang out with some good friends though and drop a car payment on some lululemon attire.  How can you not feel badass when you have badass new workout clothes?

AND I did send a mail to a dude with potential on the online thing.  I had to get someone (thank you someone) to help me hit send and be OK with what I wrote.  I swear, I am still very very immature when it comes to these things.

I also learned this week that the truth hurts sometimes.  And that it hurts worse when the truth comes from a friend. :(

Next week's goals

  • Maintain nutrition and fitness, but try to relax
  • Tighten up (Mandyism) at work
  • Be more aware of negative self talk (see very awesome post in the Crossfit Journal - if you haven't signed up for access, you totally should.  Well worth the $25).