Cutting out more than just the Fucker (last time Mom)

First - MRI of liver was clean!  WOOHOO!

Next, not so woohoo, the surgeon and oncologist agree that a double mastectomy (with sentinel node biopsy) is needed and it won't be done tomorrow.  It will, however, be done soon - 29 Apr to be exact.  BLARGH!  I wish I had a holy shit emoticon to enter here.

Neither could believe that I tested positive for the mutation.  Everyone was so sympathetic.  I guess it was a pretty big deal to get that news.

As a mutant, the surgical options that are presented all point to double mastectomy.  I could have the lumpectomy, but I would then need radiation and then a mastectomy.  I could have a unilateral mastectomy, but I would then need to have the other boob cut off after I finish treatment.  See the pattern?  I really don't want any more surgeries than necessary.  So I'm going with the double mastectomy.

DOUBLE MASTECTOMY.  This means that I will wake up from surgery with nothing on my chest but giant mutant scars.  No nips, no mounds (they keep calling it a breast mound).

Some people have the double mastectomy and then have immediate reconstruction.  This means that you get to wake up with foobs (fake boobs - I get to have fun new lingo).  However, because I had the breast reduction, the plastic surgeon does not think I am going to be able to have this option.  I don't really understand why, something about blood supply, so I am meeting with him next week to discuss my options.

I'm not going to be upset that I had the reduction.  I had oranges in socks, so I think it was the most awesome thing I've ever done.  Helped me tremendously (physically and mentally) right up until this day.  In fact, the oncologist thinks that having the breast reduction saved my life.  She thinks that I would not have found the cancer this soon if I had all of that extra breast tissue.

As an aside, the surgeon thinks the genetic testing saved my life.  I told him I thought that was a pretty dramatic statement. I just know that he was much more sympathetic this time around.  I'm not sure why.

So I don't may not get to reconstruct right away.  I am trying REALLY hard to be OK with that.

Some pros to having no mounds per my oncologist:

• Once you have reconstruction, there are normal lumps and bumps during the healing process.  She says this brings great anxiety to her patients because they worry it is a recurrence.
• Reconstruction is a 10-12 hour surgery.  You need to be in great shape to have the easiest recovery.  Delaying reconstruction allows me to train.  Like for the metro dash, but for boobs foobs instead.
• Easier recovery from surgery
• Double mastectomy + immediate reconstruction
• 10-12 hour surgery
• 4-5 day hospital stay with 2 of them in ICU
• 6-8 week recovery
• Double mastectomy
• 1-2 hour surgery
• Overnight outpatient facility stay (like a hotel)
• 4 week recovery

These were very helpful tips - I would have never seen it this way.   This is when I began to cry though.

Some pros to having no mounds per Melinda (I'm trying):

• No boob sweat
• No jiggling boobs at the gym
• Barbell does not get caught on boobs during a clean
• Money saved on braziers
• No digging underwires, falling straps, etc
• Crumbs will no longer get caught on my shelf
• No adjusting my shirt to cover cleavage
• Damn this sucks - there really aren't that many

So we'll see what the plastic surgeon says.  Maybe he'll say your boobs have an awesome blood supply and we can totally make you some new ones AND we'll build them from your tummy so you'll get a tummy tuck too!

I don't know.  I'm starting to think waiting for the recon is not such a bad thing.  I'm so anxious, I would hate to have more anxiety about lumps and bumps.

I have much to read and learn.  There are lots of things you have to consider when you recover from a mastectomy.  Sigh.  At least I have a week.

Mom is here and we are just hanging out. She came with the plan that we would be in surgery tomorrow.  Unfortunately, the plan was changed while she was already on a plane on her way here.  So we will be trying to do some fun stuff and relax.

My oncologist said that if we don't get this resolved (I guess she meant get the fucker out - ok last time for real mom) within a week, she would be very disappointed in my entire care team.  I don't think I'd want her to be disappointed with me.  EVER.  Thank goodness she is on my side.

I sure do have a lot of people on my side.