Chemo can Suck it - Chemo #4

Hey Chemo - SUCK IT!

NO MORE CHEMO FREAKING THERAPY PEOPLE!!!!!!

Chemo Sucks.  True Dat Yo.
Button from pal Alison G.

Chemo #4 has come and gone and I have to do it exactly NO MORE TIMES!

I cannot tell you the difference that this makes in how I feel and my overall disposition. I feel so much better!  Yeah, sure, chemo #4 shot me down and I had my bad days, but now when I start feeling better I can build on that.  Momentum baby!

Pink Power bracelet from
pal Sue Dangle

During treatment, I was getting worse (physically and emotionally) with each one and I think this had a lot to do with the fact that I knew it was going to just get worse.  I was just going to keep getting knocked down so what was the point trying to feel better?  In my mind, I kept comparing it to being beaten or abused.  You get knocked down enough you just feel like this is your fate and you submit to it.  Its hard to get out of that cycle.  I really don't know how people go through more treatments.  I guess you just do what you have to do - but holy hannah, 4 treatments did a real number on me.

This is my funny shirt from pal Allison B.
All the nurses got a kick out of it.

Did you know that 6 treatments is the standard for the regimen I was getting?  When we first started treatment, I asked why we weren't doing the standard 6 treatments.  My doc said that they had found similar effectiveness with just 4 treatments.  This is a benefit of going to a place like Duke.  Had I gone to small town USA docs, they would probably just treat with the standard.  My BFF, Erin, believes every thing happens for reason - we talked about this during her recent visit.  I'm not sure I believe this - but maybe I ended up in Durham so I could go to Duke so that I only had to get 4 treatments.  Yay smart, educated and aware Duke docs!

The other thing that made a difference this time is that my momma was here again.  My Mom is the best Mom there is and at the last minute got on a plane and came here all the way from Texas to take care of me.  And to let Tboz in and out and in and out and in and out....good gracious that dog was almost hurt during the last treatment.  She was really getting on my last nerve with the in out in out in out all day.  I love her, but this is really hard to tolerate when you feel like you can't get off the damn couch.

My Momma

Anywho - I am grateful that my Mom could be with me and I really enjoy her company, even when we just sit there.

So to wrap up my chemotherapy experience - it totally sucks, but it is doable.  Side effects are totally manageable and not at all as it is portrayed on TV (at least for my regimen).

Today is Day 9 post treatment #4.  Day 10 is the day my blood counts are lowest.  Once I get past Day 10, I will declare myself a winner winner chicken dinner and will no longer allow myself to feel like a victim of this stupid disease.  From now on, I have more control of how I treat this disease.  There is certainly still more to come, but I am not going to get my ass kicked trying to treat it.

OPERATION REBUILD MELINDA CAN COMMENCE!  Yippity dooooo daaahhhhh!