Hair....it's still there!

So my hair is holding on strong.  Yesterday was the first day on average it can start to come out.  My leg and armpit hairs are growing much slower though.  That is not a bad thing.

From what I have read, the most disturbing part of chemo is when large clumps of hair come out in your hand.  Or are on the pillow when you wake up.  Or are on the floor around your house.  I would have to say that I would find this disturbing.  So people recommend cutting your hair short to avoid the drama.  I was going to shave mine - and have the mohawk for a bit.  However, my doc wants me to leave at least an inch.  They worry that you could nick yourself and risk infection with a shave.  So I am going to go for this:

My friends are throwing me a little party on Thursday.  Kind of a shower of sorts where people bring scarves and hats and earrings and what not.  In return, I will be cutting off my hair for them.  My lovely host (pal Alison) has found a real life hair stylist that will do the honors.  But maybe I'll let each person cut a chunk off.  How often is it that you get to cut your friends hair?  In chunks?

Of course I think I have a pea head.  I'm afraid I will have this tiny pea had on a large body.  Stupid weight gain doesn't help.  Anywho - I have never had hair this short.  Maybe I'll love it??!!  Last short hair cut I had was a bowl.  Here is evidence of that disaster:

That's me in the middle.  With my bowl.  Circa 1995?
I couldn't crop out my friends Shae and Shane.
Sorry - you made the blog unintentionally.  Hope you don't mind.

Oh yeah, yesterday was my first day back to work - physically in the office at least.  Except for one very insensitive comment, everyone was great and supportive.  The morning was a little rocky - didn't feel great, but it got better as the day went.  Had my bag packed for the gym after work, but just didn't have any energy left.  I think if I want to get back to exercising, it might have to be in the morning.  :(

Today I will have my very first acupuncture treatment.  I hate needles.  But I have an open mind and hope that it can help me physically and emotionally.

I am actually looking forward to having short hair now - it will be fun to have something new!

Team Melinda!!!

Blog friends, I attended the 15th Annual Triangle Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure Saturday.  It.  Was.  Awesome.

For those of you unaware, here is some info on Susan G. Komen.  Its a great fundraising event for breast cancer.  And what is so great about it is that the donations stay local.  75% go to local programs and 25% goes to research conducted at some of our local institutions (Duke, UNC, Rex).

Here in the triangle this event started 15 years ago with 2500 participants.  Saturday, over 25,000 people attended and so far an estimated 1.8 Million has been raised.  HOW COOL IS THAT?

My participation started when my friend Kristen asked if some folks at Crossfit Durham could form a team to support me.  Someone recently told me that people look for opportunities to do something for you and when an opportunity presents itself, you need to let them seize the opportunity.  It ends up helping both you and the other person.  So I let CFD seize this opportunity and Team Melinda was formed.  They even had special shirts made that said Team Melinda.

Team Melinda!!!

Team Melinda ended up with about 25 members and we raised $5490 as of today.  I just think this is so awesome.  That is about 54 mammograms that we paid for to put it into perspective.  Early detection is so important to me - so that is super duper awesome.

The event itself is a 5K.  Some of my team did the competitive 5K and some did the recreational 5K.  Some of my badass team did both.  We met there under the instruction of the best team captain ever (Kristen).  How we found each other among 25,000 people is entirely because of her (and my friend Amy's mad navigation skills).  When I came up and saw my team, I lost it.  Boohoo'd all over the place.  Still, when I think of my friends helping me in this way - fundraising, showing up, wearing the tshirt, walking with me...well, I just get so freaking emotional. I guess maybe I am not used to being cared for in this way and it just feels good.  And I don't know how to process this.  So I cry.  But this was just the start of it.

We started the walk and seeing the sea of supporters and all of my team made tears come.  Talking to my friends during the walk after being so reclusive for so long made tears come.  Thinking about life going on made tears come.

That's me at the start.  All teary.
That's Kristen on the right.

Anywho - I walked the recreational 5K. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do it because my legs were hurting and weak from the treatment.  I think I did pretty good considering I had just had chemo a week or so ago (this is what Kristen kept reminding me of when I thought I should not be winded or slow).  It was the most exercise I had done in about 3 months.  It felt good.  Maybe this breaks the exercise seal so to speak and I can get back to the gym.  Next year I will run the 5K.  I will!

I went all flat chested and out there.  I figured if there was anywhere in the world where it was OK to be flat and proud it was at a breast cancer event.  I think this helped me get past any embarrassment.  I mean, it is what it is at this point.  At least until the foobs come in (they've been ordered!!!).

Texas Superwoman

Here is the hat I wore - I ordered it during one of my steroid induced insomnia nights.  I think it's awesome.  I am superwoman.





Here we are at the end of the walk.  Team Melinda!!!

Alison, Jonathan, Kristen, Nelly, Anna
Lindsay, Tracy, Amy and Katie

So when the walk was over we walked around to see all of the info and get some swag. I got some pretty cool stuff.  My favorite thing was this educational tool:

iamthecure.org

The keychain has 4 circles representing the sizes of tumors found.  The smallest is the average size found by a second mammogram.  The largest is the average size found on accident.  The largest is about an inch and a half wide and represents the size of tumor I found.  So this is accurate.  I just think the visual is so powerful.  I should have put something in the picture to show scale.  Typically an inch is knuckle to knuckle...there is a visual.

Then my friend Alison and I went to go listen to the opening ceremony and we happened upon the survivor parade.  This was the most powerful part of the whole thing.

Less than one year to 30+ years - left to right

To see all of these women who have survived...from less than one year all the way to over 30 years...well, it was just moving.  It allowed me in a very powerful visual way, to see my future.  Allowed me to know I have a future.  Life goes on.  Happy times are ahead.  I think this is called hope. :)

The tears just came and came and came.  And come now as I type.  Just powerful stuff.

My Team Melinda just let me cry and hugged me and rubbed my back and told me it was OK.  I have the best friends.  I am very lucky girl.

In summary - Race for the Cure is a keeper.  Know someone with breast cancer?  Take them to this.  Have breast cancer?  Go to this.  And listen and look around.  Don't just go to do a 5K.  Get the message and see the hope.

Thank you to all of the generous donations.  You can still donate! You can do so here.  It's a great cause!