Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

I'd like to first start out by saying I really think that right now, I have some of the best friends I've had in my entire life.  This time right now in my life, I feel loved and supported.  WOW.  This is a really nice feeling.  Thank you friends.

I don't always know what to say or how to act.  Sometimes I say and do some things I regret.  But I just don't know quite how to be yet.  I feel like an outsider.  I'm someone different now and I've just got to figure it out.  So thank you friends.  Thank you for hanging with me even when I'm a mess or say the wrong things.

Anywho, these really great friends got together and threw me a chemo shower thing.  And IT WAS AWESOME.  People brought me super fun scarves, hats and earrings and in return I let them participate in the cutting of the do (do. I said doodoo).

This is what was coming out that morning.
This was shocking.

It was planned for 16 Jun which was Day 14 from my first treatment.  The doc predicted that my hair would start coming out anytime between Day 10 and 14.  I wanted to have the party far enough out that if I was the 2% that does NOT lose your hair I would know.  But then again if I was the 98% that would lose my hair I would not be losing it at an alarming rate.  The universe was on my side - it was that morning of the party that it started coming out and it was disturbing shocking and terrible.  I was grateful for the cut to come.

The Hostess with 

My hosts, Allison and her husband Scott have a wonderful home and they are just really good people and gracious hosts.  Everything was so nice and thoughtful.  And I felt totally peaceful about it.  Oh who am I kidding, I was nervous as hell.  I am so totally not used to being the center of attention.  But then I took a little happy pill and it was all good.  Happy pills are totally acceptable in these circumstances.

So there were like eighty cajillion friends there that came from long and far.  And they all brought me some lovely lovely gifts.  It was overwhelming.  What did I do to deserve this?

Here is me with hair and with my first present!
Yay presents! :)

So as the presents came, it was decided I would stack the hats and scarves on top of me while I went.  Hilarity ensued.

Bling hats and earrings...

And with every card came a "Dammit" because I was just so overwhelmed with the sentiments and thoughtfulness that I needed to cry a little.  Dammit.

And then the finale.  This makes me laugh a lot.
I have lots of generous, kind and thoughtful friends.

Then I disrobed of all of my gifts and moved on to the big cut.  Allison procured a real life stylist named William from Wavelengths in Durham.  He was awesome.  I didn't know him at all but he made me feel very comfortable.  He kept calling me beautiful.  Allison told me earlier he was really into the experience. 

Here we are getting ready to get started.  He asked what I wanted and I told him a pixie.  Someone had shown him my blog post with the pictures of the pixie cuts.  He said no problem.

Then I asked him if my friends could cut chunks off.  William obliged and was so patient and taught my friends how to cut my hair off.  

P.S.  Do you see how awesome Allison and Scott are that they let me do this in their dining room / kitchen?  There was hair everywhere!  I love them.

OK, back to the cutting.  Here comes my friends rolling up to get in on the action...

This was really fun because it was a really hard thing for me to do and having my friends doing the cutting first really made it much easier on me.  And OMG did I laugh.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.

The sound of chunks of my hair getting cut off was freaky.

But it was all good.  Here's Lindsay going to town.

Gratuitous cute dog shot

Chunks of my hair make good mustaches and unibrows.
Look closely at this photo for a special little surprise.

Then once everyone who wanted one had a turn at chopping a chunk, William got down to business.

He was really good and all of my friends stood around me and told me how good it looked.  I mean this is how I am going to have to have my hair cut from now on.  Instant validation!

Here are some shots of my new do (do, I said doodoo).

Boy was I shocked.  But I really liked it.  But most of all I was just so glad that the very long hair was no longer going to fall out.  Little did I know how traumatizing this short hair falling out was going to be.

Anywho - William and I hugged it out and I'm pretty sure that he will have some new clients.  I mean did I mention he DONATED his time and talent.  Good Karma coming your way William.  I sent him a thank you and he said "your welcome, my queen".  Umm, don't you want to be called beautiful and a queen when getting your hair did?  I do.  I didn't know it before, but now I do.

The One.  The Only.  William.

If you are reading this blog and have the big C and about to do chemo or just started chemo, I highly recommend you throw yourself a little partay.  It was super fun and all of the love and support made the terribleness SOOOOO much easier.

And, I got some really nice scarves, hats and earrings that conservative me may never have picked out.  And I love them!

My happy fun shortcut lasted a total of 5 days.  It was just coming out so fast and it was everywhere and gross and sad and I couldn't make it stop no matter how many times I pulled it out or washed it or scrubbed it.  It got to the point where I just wanted it off!  Pronto!  So I called up my good pal Mischa and she came over and buzzed it.  Here is the before and after.  Boy this was a tough day - many many hard real sad tears.  The crying where you make funny noises and you just can't help it.  Son of a bitch.  Effing cancer.

Had a scarf on all day and had just revealed to Misch.
Many tears were shed.  Look at my male pattern baldness.

Can you see the relief in my face?  Oh man.  It was great.
I think Misch was relieved too.

So now I'm just hanging out bald.  I have tiny hair but really even today pretty much the whole top is gone.  And its flaky.  Ewww.  And my scalp hurts.  It hurts like I've kept a pony tail in for days or weeks! Its actually been feeling like this since before the party.

I haven't really left the house bald except to the wig place (more on that another time).  I tried to go to the crossfit with a scarf or bald and I just couldn't do it.  I'll get there though.  I mean, I have a pretty nice little noggin!  I think I just need to get used to it.

Treatment #2 is tomorrow.  I REALLY don't want to do it because I know it is going to make me sick.  I'm just now feeling better.  I Crossfitted 2 times last week and everything!  Will try to meet my pal LF at the gym to Crossfit on Saturday, but I may be overestimating my abilities for that day.  But I do love to be at CFDurham on Saturdays.

I have so many other things I want to blog about - my crossfitting experience, the free stuff I have gotten because I'm fighting the cancer, the wig shopping and acupuncture (WOAH this is pretty cool stuff) and my no sugar challenge.  Some fellow blogger girls and I will even be posting self love posts soon.

I'm glad I got this no hair one out in the universe though.  Whew.  It was a doozy.