Confidence

So I've got this new blog...whadya think?  


I kept waiting to start actually using it until I had something good to say.  I realized that the point of my blog is to provide me with a platform to just say anything.  It doesn't have to be "good".


Good or not, this post is a doozy.  


So I will just start by saying that my confidence has been shaken for awhile.  Various things attribute to my "shaken confidence" syndrome, but I won't go into that.  You need confidence to be successful in just about every aspect of your life, including your health and fitness goals.  What do you do when you lose it?  To start, I think you need some small wins.  Hit some goals.  Remind yourself that you are badass and can finish what you start.  


So I am shooting for a few small wins that I hope will help me get a pretty big win.  Wanna know what I have planned?

• Well first, I've gotta get my diet back in line to help me with my weight loss and general well being.  I've flirted with the same 10 pounds for 2 months.  Someone asked me today what I was up to, as far as weight loss goes, and I had to say "just 100 still".  And I was embarrassed.  

• First of all, in weight loss, the word "just" should never come before 100.  100 pounds is a shit-ton of weight and I need to remember that and be proud that I have maintained that kind of loss for these 2 months.  I have had some massive backslides which could have easily contributed to GAINING 10 pounds (and then some).  But I stopped them before they were out of control.  So YAY ME! for maintenance.
• Second, that was a fair question.  And it reminded me that people had been looking to me for success and inspiration and I fizzled.  Granted, I am not doing this for anyone other than myself, but I am mindful of my influence on others who struggle.  I am grateful for that and would like to earn their respect once again.
• So I will be going strict paleo when I return from vacation and a work trip.  July 19 - its on.
• Second, I want to get to the point that the stupid BMI thing no longer calls me obese.  When this happens, I am giving myself a little present.  I will be getting my nose pierced.  Yes, I am 36 and a professional.  I really don't give a flying flip flop what anyone thinks about that.  I want it.  I will earn it.  And I will remember my accomplishment every time I see it (or sneeze, or have a boog).
• Third, and oh my goodness I feel sick about it already, I am entering a competition.  A running competition.  With obstacles.  Oh my geez, what have I done.  Its called the MetroDash.  Check it out here.  This is some serious motivation to do points one and two above.  Oh my.

My friend Ashley promises me that I can do it.  I know I can do it.  And when I'm done doing it, I am going to feel awesome about myself and hopefully, I will find my confidence again.


So stay tuned peeps.  Send positive vibes my way.  Encourage me if you see me, I'll need it!


*For background on me and how I have arrived at this point...check out the Bullcity Crossfitters blog.