Thirty Days of Thankful - Day 8, 9 and 10

I know.  I missed a few days.  I've felt sorry for myself and couldn't get in here type up the things I am thankful for even though I know that is when I need to the most.  I hate cancer.  I am having headaches and alot of pelvic pressure and this is new.  My mind goes directly to my oncologist saying my cancer will most likely come back in my brain, bones or liver.  Well, you can guess what I think headache means...and pelvic pressure is thanks to Tamoxifen.  Sigh.

Anywho, today I am thankful for:

• Our veterans

My Pop - Walter - on the left was in the airforce

My Pop - "Brubs" - on the left was in the navy

One of my favorite things - real vmail from my pop (Walter) to his family

• The fact that when I lay my head down to sleep, I do not worry about bombs exploding.
• The fact that I acknowledge my fear to serve in the military.
• The fact that some do not have the fear and fight everyday for me.
• The fact that I have not lost life or limb.
• The fact that I am not impoverished.
• Having clean water to drink.
• Having food to eat (to excess even).
• Having a piggy bank that I do not count on to pay my bills.
• Having the luxury of frivolous expenditures.
• Finding the tiny shirt that the Overtons got my precious Tboz when we first met her.    It is so tiny and is a Texas A&M shirt.  I thought I had lost it and am working on a photo album (OK, really this just means I drug out the giant crate with photos in it and it is just sitting there in my room barely touched - I hate making photo albums) and found it tucked away with my photos.  I can't believe she was ever that tiny.
• Petfinder.  I look on this website constantly to find my new best friend.  I am thinking I would like a healthy young corgi/basset hound/jack russell mix.  Black or white and female.  I do not know if this exists, but I look all the time or when I especially miss Tboz.
• Hair paste stuff.  William had given me a huge goody bag of hair products and today I looked through it and found some "paste".  I put a tiny bit of it in my hair to give it some..., well, just because I could.
• Fleece vests.  I think I have 4 now and they camouflage the no boob and boob roll and stomach roll nicely.
• Portable heaters.
• Spinning - I totally escape for one whole glorious hour.
• In general, that my friends are still my friends even though I am quirky and don't socialize all that well.
• In general, that my friends are still my friends even though I may say the wrong things.
• My new sneakers from Privo.  They are white and so comfortable.  They were my present for finally attending to Tboz' remains.
• Big ass salads
• My parent's friends Joe and Kat because they help take care of mom and dad.
• My parent's friends JD and Vanita because they help take care of mom and dad.
• The prayer that my mom said for me and Tboz the day I let her go.
• Straight teeth.  
• Real mail.  Like in the mailbox.
• Cable
• Flip flops
• The email I received from my pal Allison.  I sure do miss her.
• Discovering that I can make tacos using savoy cabbage as the tortilla.  They sure are good.  I'm a genius.
• My giant diamond ring.  Even though I feel like I no longer deserve to wear it, I still do.  Suck it.

Thirty Days of Thankful - Day 7

Today I am thankful for:

• Sleep - fell asleep last night with no Ativan!  Didn't stay asleep, but good step forward.
• Finding the small piece of greenie that is in my purse.  This was the greenie that I brought to Tboz in the hospital and held while she chewed it.  I didn't let her have the last bit because I was afraid she would choke.  She used to hold them with her little paws.  She loved greenies.  It was her favorite part of the day to get to enjoy the greenie.
• Oz, the big sheep/husky dog next door.  Tboz loved Oz.  She would visit Oz after peeing on the mailbox. Oz was the only dog Tboz liked.  And they were so cute together.  She would go sniff his nose and then run off like a puppy.  The day before Tboz had to be let go, I took her over to see Oz and held her and bent down to let him sniff her and her him.  To say goodbye.  Shortly after, when we were at home, she perked up.  I think it was Oz.
• Oz being home and outside last night.  Last night I came home and was wishing for doggie companionship so much.  I looked over to see if Oz was out and I didn't see him.  I went down to the mailbox and heard his whimper and saw him in the shadows.  Yay!  I went over and just pet him and pet him and pet him and told him what a good dog he was and talked about missing Tboz.  It was nice.
• My pal Christine.  She is my spinning and yoga instructor and she always makes me feel calm and capable.  Lately, OK just twice, I have been doing spinning and then yoga on Tuesdays.  It really helps escape for 2 or so hours and I usually feel so much better.
• Running into this other lady at work who is a 12 year survivor.  I was given her name by another coworker and called her right when I was diagnosed.  She was so helpful and maybe the only person I talked to who was a survivor before my surgery.  She is flat like me and I think about her telling me the benefits of this almost every day.  She was not supposed to live, and she has lived for 12 years and counting.  She is a survivor.  I finally met her in person yesterday and she had lots to say about perspective.  She also said I was still very new at this and not to expect so much.  She also advised me to try and separate all the bad things that have happened to me to single events - not to say all these bad things happened to me!  But to say my dog died and I will need to grieve her.  This is separate from my breast cancer.
• Plans to see the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular thing with pal Allison this weekend.
• When cold outside and after 2 hours of exercise, the heat blowing on my face while driving with the windows down or top off
• My dad, for sending me a very nice email and a book (All Dogs go to Heaven) when Tboz was let go
• Cheese

Wow, this was a juicy one.